It’s not about the sex, but it is.
There is a need, an intense need, that I have found only related to submission. It’s not about being horny. It’s not about getting off. It’s not even necessarily about feeling good. It’s the need to be taken, controlled, dominated, and possessed. It doesn’t need to be passionate, though it could be. It doesn’t need to be rough, though it could be that as well. But it is uncivilized. It’s primitive. It’s the caveman (or in this case, cavewoman) mentality - to be conquered in the most primal of ways. Take me, use me, fill me, mark me as yours. Claim me. Overpower and subdue any resistance. Disregard anything but your own intentions to possess, to own, to stake your territory, to exert your authority, to show that this is mine. Reduce my world to this one moment, this act of letting go. Leave room for nothing else in my head but the awareness of you, and that I am yours.
That need can be overwhelming, staggering, all-consuming. The way I experience it is not as arousal, at least not in the traditional sense - in fact, regular arousal almost feels superficial in comparison. This is a deeper arousal, a readiness, an openness. There’s a physical sensation, a want, a need, an ache in the depths of my core that nothing but dominance will assuage. I feel that ache, that sensation, deep inside - in places that no person should be able to touch - yet somehow he can touch it. His voice can reach that place and wrap around it, brush against it, caress it. His words can soothe it, or excite it further. And if he chooses, the force of his will can surround me, reach inside me, and stroke that place that only he can touch - and in doing so, evoke the most powerful sensations. It’s not about sexual pleasure - this is more intense, more fulfilling, and more profound.
The need doesn’t always map to sex, and can be played out in any number of ways. But sometimes nothing but this kind of taking will satisfy it.
It’s not about the sex, but it is.
